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update: nah
I think what happened there was that I was in a community that I never fit in with in the first place and kept setting me off, making me feel forced to behave a certain way. don't get me wrong, I need to be more respectful, but I also need to listen to myself more and acknowledge that sometimes it's better to let go than to ultimately blow up and dig my own grave because I'm trying to exist somewhere that just isn't working
I'm going to restart from scratch. this time I'm not going to try and attempt to just throw myself at a community in an attempt to fill a void. I'll take things slowly and not do anything that I feel obligated to do this time around, I think just doing that will make me a better person because I'll be happier where I am instead of feeling like I have to hide parts of myself or behave a certain way. I was definitely bringing things up at inappropriate times because I didn't have a proper outlet to express myself unfiltered and all those bottled up thoughts had to go somewhere
one thing that I learned from my attempts to use bluesky is that you are going to have a terrible time if you approach something out of obligation instead of genuinely wanting to be there, so I'm going to try and apply that principle to the rest of my life wherever I can going forward
anyway I'm going to be slow on the uptake, I unfollowed everyone for a reason, but I'm gonna try and slooowly start rebuilding things in a way that's genuine this time, and I think I'll be much better off for it as a result
@eblu@wetdry.world an excellent idea, worked very well for me when I had my own Great Reset. hope to see that brain of yours get the recharge it deserves sooner rather than later