update: nah
I think what happened there was that I was in a community that I never fit in with in the first place and kept setting me off, making me feel forced to behave a certain way. don't get me wrong, I need to be more respectful, but I also need to listen to myself more and acknowledge that sometimes it's better to let go than to ultimately blow up and dig my own grave because I'm trying to exist somewhere that just isn't working