The thing with ableism is that most people don't see it. It looks completely normal, realistic, and appropriate to them. It's hard to weed out when you can't tell the difference between the weeds and the flowers.

Me: "This is particularly interesting if one did do a bit of behavioral economics in the past."

Them: "What did you NOT do?"

I'm sorry, I'm #AuDHD. This is how my brain works

Top 20 Signs You're Masking Your Autism - Top 4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji3FAzBgQcw

Not everyone has to like everything that I say or do in order for me to be okay.

Me at work, when I am doing something that is exceptionally interesting to me.

#work
#hyperfocus
#AuDHD
#ADHD
#hackers

@audhd

So this was a day.

I might be autistic.

Happy #Blaugust Day 7, everyone.

https://hollie.eilloh.net/blog/2025/08/07/

Morning lovely buff ripped gorgeous curvy chaos goblins love you

Today’s going to be hooooot again keep cool hydrate and stay out of the sun also spf 10000000 exists (brick)

Today’s plan live in the inflatable pool, do my physio (easier in the pool )
kinda vaguely happy today what’s with that something must be wrong or going to be wrong I’m gonna obsess over it all day and make myself super anxious til I find out what’s wrong or going to go wrong then I can be sad again (#audhd goals)

I talked with my lecturer about possibly doing the anti-Semitism/Palestinian resistance topic for my assessment.

He explained that he'd love to read my take on it even if I looked at it via the hate crime topic, but also that if he said I could do that then he'd have to say yes to everyone who asked if they could do a topic we've already covered*, but we talked about perhaps looking at protest laws and policy and using it as an example to cover that (which then opens up discussion of the BLM protests compared to the anti-covid protests).

I've also pmuch finished a presentation on coercive control and have that ready to go if I can't make the anti-Semitism one work.

I think what I need to do is plan out the essay for assessment 5, and then work backwards from that to get the presentation in line.. and that'll help me work out if I can do it. The presentation is due on the 18th, so I pmuch have 10 days to research and plan a 2000 word essay and then write and record a 10 minute video presentation outlining the issue the essay will cover.

Nothing can go wrong with this plan!

_____
* personally I think the "we'd have to say yes to everyone" response is pmuch always nonsense.

Will increasing internal awareness make things worse?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pclyc4sjV8k

At it for 4 decades! #handmade #maker #handcrafted #DesignerMaker #designer #anillo #anello #anel #ring #silver #plata #prata #CrossCultural #queer #AuDHD

shop.gurgel-segrillo.com

The ironic thing is, neurotypicals usually assume that looking someone in the eye is a sign of paying attention, which is why they insist on it.

But for us, it stops us from being able to pay attention.

Let's open these curtains & se- ouchy ouch! Blind, I'm blind! So blind! (Korn's, Blind, plays in my head)
…
Wait … why am I reacting that way when it's overcast & cloudy?
…
Checks system status …
Great, need to recalibrate my brightness settings, again.

I wrote a post about Trust & Safety that I have been meaning to write for a while, but @caseynewton wrote something recently that reminded me.

It acts as a useful mission statement for the advocacy organisation I am slowly creating, which I have talked about in a few interviews, but not gotten around to yet - The problems with C-PTSD and AuDHD in concert mean that everything comes at a glacial start :)

https://superhighwayman.com/2025/the-ones-who-thrive-in-omelas/

Y'all, why didn't anyone tell me about NeeDoh cubes before???

Just holding this thing and letting it...I don't know, snowly form around my hand without needing to be squeezed or anything, is incredibly calming.

And given how deep in burnout I am this week, it's helping immensely.

@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

I feel so much "too much" and "not enough", at the same time. It's exhausting.

I finished three clients' projects over past few days. I feel a great sense of accomplishment. Of course, I'm now finding it impossible to get started on the projects still awaiting my attention. Sigh. #AuDHD #genealogy #geneadons

Your abilities and your productivity have nothing to do with your worth as a person.

[no medical opinions]

I had therapy today for the first time in months (regional Australia has a dire shortage of mental health services), and got to talk with her about how I think I have a touch of the depressions.. she agrees.

She also agrees that it might be SAD, or a VitD deficiency, and is glad I had bloods taken yesterday and will be talking to my endo tomorrow about the results. She didn't have anything to say about the possibility of it being a side effect of my spirolonactone, but I'll ask the endo about that as well.

We did talk about the possibility of it being triggered by Greg leaving or other relationship things and both agree it doesn't seem likely. Or that it's latent grief over my dads death in 2019 being triggered by talking my best friend through his dad's illness and impending passing (we also don't think that's it).

She said that I've done all the good things - deleting tiktok, taking a decreased uni load this semester, talking about it.. and that I just need to keep going back to basics (eating, sleeping, exercising, drinking water), to keep things grounded and continue moving forward..

I did notice that, when we were both about to say I have to keep doing "all the good things", she said "good things" and I said "right things" - so we talked a bit about how those actions don't have a moral value or correctness to them, they're just things I can do that are helpful for my body and ways I can be gentle with myself at the moment.

I have such a headache now, though.. It's also been years since I've come out of therapy with a headache, which I think is indicative of how much I don't want to be there and how much I do need to be there.

Being crazy is hard work.